Sexy Girls Chapter 3 and 4

Chapter 3: Is Your Closet Too Hot?

This chapter starts out by attempting to gross out teen girls by telling them that if they dress immodestly, it is not only young men that will lust after them, but creepy old dudes, including the preacher.

"If you walk down the street and see a bench lined with 70-year-old men, they are looking at your breasts and smacking their lips....Just think about the poor pastor who has to stand in front of his congregation and talk about God while trying to avoid seeing your breasts popping out from your baby doll top"

I think it's rather telling that this woman feels like she has to say this. It's quite a bit of privilege to assume that her readers have never been street-harassed before.

Dimarco expands on the "menu"and "advertising" framing more and more. Bare midriffs apparently advertise that you are ready to have your belly touched and you're a "tease" if you're not up for it. Also, any advances or harassment you get is deserved because

"Don't blame them for your PR campaign...they're just hoping to get a chance to purchase or steal a piece of you."

This ideology dehumanizes males as predators and females as prey and objects. The use of "steal" in this line tells us what Dimarco would think of rape victim-blaming.

"We can't get mad at guys for being guys. We can't blame them for following us down the path of objectification when that's the package we've put together."

Holy Hell!!! Does this woman think dudes have ANY responsibility for anything? If what she said was true, we would need to lock up all the men! This is the kind of shit that MRAs put in the mouths of feminists.


After a suitable round of shaming and blaming, Dimarco brings up Ephesians 5:3 and how there shouldn't be "even a hint of sexual immorality" among us. She also opines on how self-esteem is fleeting, but "god-esteem" is the foundation of a healthy self-image.


Chapter 4: The Art of the Body

This chapter is about tattoos and piercings. Interestingly, she is not wholly against them as a matter of biblical principle, but her restrictions on how you shouldn't show your navel piercing or lower back tattoo pretty act as blanket prohibitions. Her menu metaphor is stretched as she likens these piercings and tattoos to the "best-seller" icons on a menu.

Her worst ire is reserved for the blatantly sexual tongue ring, though she stops short of saying oral sex, using the euphemism of guys imagining how it will feel "on their body."

Girls who get tongue rings:

"Don't expect your romantic dreams to come true...to make yourself a sexual object is to kill a part of you that was created expressly for relationship."

Yes, tongue rings will make you into a spinster or some sort of loveless robot!

"God didn't create you to be some boy's toy. He didn't create you to meet the sexual needs of random guys...he made you for one man and one man only, and that man won't be too happy to know that you shared yourself with other men just to get the feeling of being loved." 

How dare you act as a sex object for multiple men, you're a sex object for  just for ONE MAN! Because that's so much better. And again, complete erasure of female sexual desire, because women trade sex for love...

Sin Wears Short Shorts

Oh, I love Antichoice365, it is a damn gold mine...

"It has gotten to the point where, in times of warm weather, the women who wear short shorts in public outnumber those who don’t. Does anyone else feel this same way?"

First of all, I don't know why you're writing this in late October, where it's not even shorts weather in Texas anymore, much less most other areas. And no, I see far more pants and skirts than shorts of any kind most of the time. And how short is short? Is he cool with culottes?

"In charity, we must assume those who wear short shorts, bikinis, spaghetti straps, and other immodest clothing were never told not to. If that’s the case for you, after reading this you can no longer claim ignorance."

He calls it charity, I call it infantilizing and giving women no agency to assume that we haven't heard these bullshit lectures before. I do not claim ignorance, I claim agency.

" The problem with wearing immodest clothing lies in the beauty of the female body. It is so attractive that it must be kept veiled, lest it lead men to sin."

That's a very...Muslim...viewpoint, don't you think?

" As we shall see, each woman bears a responsibility toward men to help them not to fall into sin"

Sin isn't real. NO, we have no responsibility for you.

" This is not to say women bear the entire responsibility. Men still ought to divert their eyes. But, still, it would be better that men not be provided n opportunities to lust, can’t we all agree?"

There's nothing wrong with lust. Thoughtcrime is bullshit.


Now he'll give some quotes from some saints:

" You have prepared the abominable cup, you have given the death dealing drink, and you are more criminal than are those who poison the body; you murder not the body but the soul."

Dude sounds seriously messed up and misogynistic. Women are worse than murderers!

" “More souls go to hell because of sins of the flesh than for any other reason.”

Sex is basically the ONLY sin in all religion.

"One of the seers, Jacinta tells us Our Lady of Fatima also told her this: “Unless My message is heeded, Satan will introduce certain fashions that will offend My Son very much.”

Pretty sure I don't care if my outfits offend Jesus. I'm also sure that Satan is a great stylist.

 “Everyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Mt 5.28). That is how seriously the Son of God takes this matter."

That is thoughtcrime and is one of the most abominable and damaging things in all Christianity. Those who praise Jesus can fucking stop just based on this one verse.

Where does this end? Men can lust after a burka-clad figure, it doesn't matter. They blame the existence of women for the damnation of their very souls.

Sexy Girls: Chapter 1 and 2

I have a habit of picking up terrible Christian books in thrift stores, and that's how I came across Sexy Girls: How Hot is Too Hot?

It's truly an abomination of slut-shaming, made worse by being written in a "hip" and "cool" slang-loaded fashion. The book itself also has weird thick, glossy pages and layout, with far more pictures than content. The spine is also weak, the pages started falling out when I simply flattened the book for pictures. Many of the pages are single-quote pages, often from youth pastors like this first one:

"It's hard to speak to your hearts when all I see is your parts."

That's one of those glorious preacher quotes with a rhyme that ultimately means nothing.


Dimarco opens chapter 1 with an anecdote about being turned away from 1st grade because of a crop top and shorts. She obviously internalized this message of shame and went on to perpetuate it in a big way.

Dimarco then brings in the concepts of advertising yourself, your image, and marketing. She even has little self-tests for you to take:

Chapter 2:Your Target Market

She has little quizzes here too:

I didn't even try to take this quiz because all these answers are crap.

Chapter 2 wants is to consider our "target audience", guys. 

"Don't get all feminazi on me now and start saying you aren't looking for a guy, because if you picked up this book, then you must be concerned about your sex appeal, and sex appeal is for one purpose and one purpose only: to get guys."

I like the unironic use of feminazi and the complete erasure of queerness. That's pretty par for the course. She goes on to talk about how girls just want to dress cute, but we just have to think about those "hormone-crazed" guys. It is here that she first uses the objectifying term "menu" to talk about what women show.

"It might seem gross, juvenile, or impossible that a guy would want to touch your breast just because he can see a part of it, but trust me, it's true."

Newsflash! He probably wants to touch it even if he can't see it! And why would it necessarily seem gross unless you're assuming that women don't have sexual desire?

She then goes on to construct scenarios where showing a bit of breast leads to more and more fantasy, how showing belly leads to more, and how you need to cover up so that boys won't fantasize about you. The fact is that you can't stop anyone from fantasizing about you no matter what you wear, and I don't believe in the Christian "stumbling block" rhetoric.

She then goes on to spend a whole page on underwear. She says that if a boy sees part of your underwear, he'll think that you'll be willing to show him all of it, and then you'll be "sexual" to him and garner no respect:

"Guys don't take sexual girls seriously. They just don't. They think about using them until their next conquest."

Really? Men can't have real relationships with women they have sex with? That's news to pretty much everyone. And if dudes are this awful, why do you want them? That is the eternal question, unanswered in the first 2 chapters.

Leggings ARE pants

I'm so tired of the bullshit coming out of the pantriarchy shaming women for wearing leggings at all or "improperly". Leggings count as pants for all practical purposes, and I don't care if they're immodest, see-through, revealing or whatever. STFU.

In this post by Tammy Swift:

"Please, people. Just put on some pants already.

Remember zippers? Remember construction? Remember natural fabrics that wouldn't stretch to accommodate a manatee?"

Yes, remember those things that HURT? That make pants not FIT? Remember the way that rigid pants contribute to fat-shaming?

" Enough already with the leggings. Enough with the boots. This trend has been in for at least five years and has become as omnipresent in American fashion as the counterfeit designer purse."

OMG, FIVE YEARS? But you want people to switch to 100+ year old jeans and pants???

" Believe me, I do understand the appeal of leggings. They're extremely comfortable — sort of like wearing PJs to the office. They don't wrinkle. They go with many items of clothing, such as big, blocky sweaters or that drirt (shirt-dress hybrid). They can help you transition seamlessly from fall wardrobe to winterwear."

Sounds AMAZING!!! No downsides!

" But there is a whole population of us who cannot pull off leggings. (No, really. We literally cannot pull them off.) We may belong in that segment of people who have been labeled "pear shaped." The baggy sweaters that jibe so perfectly with leggings simply cover our small waists. The spectre of tight, multicolored leggings makes us look like equestrian oompa-loompas."

I am the goddamn platonic ideal of pear-shaped, and leggings look great on me! Not to mention, what are the alternatives? Pear-shaped people sure can't wear rigid pants! And if you need to bring out your waist (more likely your ribcage if you're pear-shaped), wear a belt with a tunic. Leggings offer more to pear-shaped women than any other women!

" As we also tend to have larger calves, boots don't work for us. Like disgraced Clydesdales, we are banished to the "wide shank" section of the boot store."

YES, I feel your pain, but wide-calf boots are more available now than at any other time. This has nothing to do with leggings.

" Another challenge for the human pear is the Tragedy of the Fallen Crotch. For some reason, our bodies simply aren't engineered to hold up a pair of leggings. Our waists are too small; our trunks too junky. Before we know it, the waist of the leggings will have migrated to mid-thigh and the crotch will sag to the knees. This look immediately transforms the wearer into a comical, long underwear-clad figure in a hillbilly spoof."

WHAT? I have never seen this. WTF kind of leggings are you wearing?
This woman doesn't know shit. 

In this post by Heather Riggleman:

"Comfortable as they may be, think of leggings more as a warmer alternative to tights than a stretchy alternative to work pants. Unless you’re headed out for a run, tight spandex pants should never be worn with a cropped sweater, T-shirt, or any other top that doesn’t cover your glutes."

Don't care. I'll show my ass if I want to.

" 1. Your no-no zone, which is about from your belly to about 3 inches below your glutes, should not be seen in close form ever, at least in public. This means I should not know the contour and shape of your thighs, glutes and hips in one glance. I have yet to see a no-no zone that’s cute except for toddlers in cloth diapers.

Your no-no zone should be covered by a long shirt, dress or tunic when worn with leggings. Yoga pants are not to be worn in public either — except at the gym, but even then: Leggings are not pants."

Are you FIVE YEARS OLD? A no-no zone? And what does she think regular pants do? Has she never seen tight jeans?

"3. If I can see the pattern of your underwear, you have mistaken leggings as pants. Go home and change into a pair of jeans, please. Leggings are not pants."

I will absolutely never wear jeans. STFU. Don't care. Maybe my panties are pretty.

"listen girls. Little T-shirts, yoga pants or leggings with fuzzy boots is NOT, I repeat, not an outfit. Please go home and search Pinterest for more figure-flattering ideas. "

It is very much an outfit. Don't care what may be flattering to you.

 "6. If I’m taking my 9-year-old son to the store, and he runs into an aisle and explains he saw your “bouncy bootie,” we have a problem. For the safety of my child, review the ways leggings are to be worn. I have already been teaching my son’s eyes how to “pingpong off the thong.” Once again: Leggings are not pants."

HERE we have it!!! It's modesty culture. You don't teach your son to not look at butts in that way unless you have fucked up ideas about lust.

Leggings are pants. Yoga pants are pants. Soft pants are pants. Down with Pantriarchy!!!

Skirts Above the Knees and Other Wickedness

Courtesy of FSTDT, comes this little gem:

"One of the most evil sins in America is the use of sexual suggestiveness in advertising. What prompted me to write this article was doing some research on the evils of Contemporary Christian Music (CCM). I noticed that the female CCM group “Point Of Grace,” on their album cover titled “A Thousand Little Things,” are pictured suggestively. For obvious reasons I can't show you the album cover, because it's inappropriate. They're all wearing skirts above the knees. This is wickedness."

So Christian music isn't Christian enough for him because they wear skirts above the knees? THE HORROR!!!!!

"Although modest by today's immodest standards, it is immoral by God's standards. The woman in the middle is sitting suggestively, subtly invitingly. The album cover is sexually suggestive, period. They know exactly what they are doing. All men who are normal and healthy have to battle continually against sexually impure thoughts. An honest homosexual told me that all men are sex pigs. Every man is either carnally minded and doesn't care, or he's a Christian who's trying to please God by bringing every thought into captivity unto obedience to Christ (2nd Corinthians 10:5). "

I like how he knows God's standards and contrasts that with a cultural standard. I also like how he seems to know what's in these women's heads. And why the nod to the gay guy in there, as if he is an authority on straight male sexuality?

" Immodesty is a dangerous sin. Many men who have denied this truth have lived to reap what they have sown, proving my point. It's not uncommon to hear a pastor berating a relative or church member for committing sexual sins, and then one day they are guilty them self, on the other side of the fence now bearing the reproach of their sins. If that's you, know that the blood of Jesus cleanses all sins away. You'll never understand the grace of God until you mess up and people point their hypocritical finger in condemnation against you. Then the blood of Jesus will become sweeter than you have ever known. "

Yes, it is interesting how people rail against sex and then are exposed as committing it...very interesting indeed, author...

 "But my teaching still stands, that is, women ought to cover their bodies thoroughly, dressing modestly and behaving ladylike. Modern female singers have impudent (a look of casual disrespect) faces, and they speak with authority like men, and they wear blue-jeans or miniskirts, shaming themselves and dishonoring the Lord they claim to serve. Immodesty is destroying our nation. Shame on any co-called Christian woman who wears her skirt above her knee, exposing her thighs for men to lust upon. Showing any part of the thighs invites a man's mind to think about her female reproductive organ. Why is that so hard to figure out? God judge this wicked generation!"

I like having an impudent look. I'm too busy to fully disrespect you, so I'll just do it casually.
And speaking with authority like a man, the HORROR!!! Because women can't possibly know anything.

Thighs make dudes think of a female reproductive organ? Like an ovary? Fallopian tubes? Uterus? Which one?

By the way, this is the horribly immodest album cover:

Bask in its immodesty!

"Professional" Clothing

Anyone who knows me knows I love fashion and fun clothing. I take pride in my appearance. But my body type and style often cause issues with finding socially "appropriate" clothing.

Because I can't find commercially produced pants that fit me, I don't have a "casual" or "moderate" setting. I don't have anything in between ultra-casual yoga pants and dresses. I often appear "overdressed" to people who accept that as a concept. While I don't care mist of the time, there are events where I'd at least like the option to blend in.

Recently, I allowed myself to be talked into attending an event for people in my professional industry. The event has features such as presentations, but also has cocktails. So what does one wear??? I had some ideas about what appropriate dress would be.

-Suits
-Dress Pants
-Collared Shirts
-Pencil skirts/Dress skirts
-Neutral, modest dresses
-Dress pumps or flats
-Blazers

NONE OF WHICH I OWN, and all of which is uncomfortable and difficult to fit.

And why are these the arbitrary rules? Why are cleavage and shoulders considered unprofessional? Why are bright colors and fun prints frowned upon? Why are hard heels considered more professional than fancy flip-flops?

It doesn't make sense.

As it is, I think I'll be wearing a knee-length brown polka dot dress with cap sleeves. It perhaps shows more cleavage than it should, and my bare legs and platform flip-flops are supposed to be verboten, but it's what I can do.